Let Mom Speak

Cruz Got Into A Magnet School

2011-04-25T09:54:00.000-07:00

I'm so happy to announce that my son was accepted into a magnet elementary school for the upcoming school year. When I filled out the Choices Brochure, I never expected he would get into a new school so soon. I was completely taken by surprise when I received the acceptance letter in the mail. The school is a computer, math and science magnet which is a perfect fit for Cruz. Being the son of two geeks, technology has been a huge part of Cruz's learning process. He also has a fascination with numbers and math, so I am very excited about the opportunities and learning techniques he will be exposed to starting in 1st grade at the magnet school.

Rewards and Discipline

2011-03-04T16:33:00.000-08:00

One of the hardest things I have struggled with as a parent is how to discipline my child. The latest trial and error involved rewarding Cruz with video game and TV time for good behavior and taking away his screen time on the weekends for bad behavior. Cruz was doing very well at school and home for about two weeks, but after that his teachers informed me he was having a bad week and not following the class rules again. While his behavioral issues have been minor, I expect Cruz to follow the rules and always be on his best behavior, so I needed to find a disciplinary system that worked and would continue to work.

I needed some insight and advice from a professional about my son's behavior, so I had an interesting conversation with my therapist during my session today. She pointed out that by taking privileges away from Cruz, we were unintentionally rewarding him with more quality time with mom and dad to make up the hour he would have been watching TV or playing video games. So really there was no consequence for his actions. Instead, she suggested we reward good behavior instead of focusing on a punishment for bad behavior.

The advice my therapist gave me totally made sense, and I never would have realized how counterproductive our current system was if I did not have someone from the outside see what was really going on and bring it to my attention. I'm going to put a reward system into place as well as some other changes at home, and I'm very hopeful to see long-term positive changes in Cruz's behavior.

To Baby or Not to Baby? That is the Question.

2010-09-11T10:31:00.000-07:00

Over the past 6 months, my hubs and I have been discussing having a second baby. Ok, we've been more than discussing it. We've actually been trying, but with hectic work schedules and life getting in the way, we've been unsuccessful thus far.

When we made the decision to have another baby, everything made sense. We both have lots of love to give, good jobs, health insurance, and while finances would be tight, we were willing to sacrifice to have a bigger family. Yet as the months past and with no baby on board, I kept questioning myself. Can I really handle multiple children, especially with a husband who is frequently away on business trips and no family near by to help me out? What about holidays when daycare and school are both closed? My job has been pretty cool about letting me bring Cruz to work on occasion, but I can kiss that perk good-bye once I have the baby. I also kept thinking with Cruz starting kindergarten soon, we were going to be saving a bundle in child care expenses, and maybe, just maybe, we could finally have a real family vacation. If we have a baby, not only will any travel plans be put on hold, but we'll be paying for full time daycare again on top of Cruz's after school child care. Also, I know it might sound a little selfish, but I could really use new clothes and maybe a trip to the spa once our monthly expenses are lighter.

So here we are, after 6 months of being so sure we wanted a bigger family, my hubs and I are having "the baby talk" again. He has always wanted a large family, but he shares the same doubts and fears as me, and age is also a factor for him as he is 8 years older than me (I'm 30 and hubs is 38). We both agreed it's now or never. Besides my husband not wanting to be an "old man" by the time the kids are grown, Cruz is about to turn 5 and the age gap will be less than desirable for siblings to play together. I had no idea how difficult the decision to have another baby could be. We know without a doubt that we would be happy if it was just the three of us, and there's a lot of uncertainty adding another person into the mix. However, we know that if we really wanted another baby, we would love that child and we would find a way to make it work.

The Beginning of a New Journey

2010-09-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

Cruz starts kindergarten on Monday! It's just now really sinking in, and I can't believe my baby will be starting elementary school. While it really won't change our routine much (since Cruz has been in daycare and preschool for some time), I still see this milestone as the start of a new journey in Cruz's life. Cruz is excited about starting big boy school, and I couldn't be more proud of him. I know he will do great!

Too Much Lunch

2010-07-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

Cruz started a preschool summer program at the beginning of July and after seeing other kids with their shiny lunch boxes, he decided he must have a lunch box and take his lunch to school. Yesterday, I took him to the store and he picked out a brightly colored lunch box with sea creatures on it. I asked him what food he wanted to eat for lunch and we decided on peanut butter sandwich (cut in the shape of dinosaurs, of course), apple slices, and a cookie. Lunch items for the next day was chosen and Cruz had a lunch box, so all I had to do was make sure I packed him everything he needed before taking him to school the next day.

The next morning, I began packing Cruz's lunch box. This was a first for me. I had packed many lunches for myself and my husband, but this was for my son and I wanted it to be perfect and be special. I started with the peanut butter dinos. It was pretty simple. I have a cookie cutter that removes the crust and cuts the sandwich into two dinosaurs. When I looked down at those two lonely dinos, I was afraid my active boy might not be full from just that, so I turned that couple into a herd by making another sandwich.

Next, I moved onto the apple slices. I know Cruz doesn't like the peel, so I peeled the Pink Lady apple and then cut it into slices. Without even thinking, I put all the slices from the large apple into a tupper-wear, snapped on the lid, and put it into Cruz's lunch box with the 4 dinosaurs. Then I got the package of cookies from the pantry. I pride myself on reading labels and, especially when it comes to sweets, I pay attention to the recommended serving size. The package of cookies said 3 cookies were a serving, so I took 3 cookies and put them in a baggie and then inside the lunch box. After adding a juice box for his drink, I looked at the contents inside the lunch box and thought something is missing. He needed something from the dairy group, so I grabbed a squeezable yogurt from the freezer (you know, so it will be thawed and the perfect temperature by lunch time) and added it to my boy's lunch menu.

Cruz's lunch was in the lunch box. 4 peanut butter dinosaur sandwiches, a whole apple sliced up, 3 small cookies, a juice box, and a squeezable yogurt. And just to make Cruz's first Mommy-made school lunch extra special, I wrote a little note that said, "I love you!" I zipped up the lunch box pleased with myself and the grand lunch I packed for my favorite little man.

After work, I arrived at the preschool and asked how Cruz's lunch was and if he ate it all. The preschool teacher told me Cruz was the last one to finish eating lunch and she finally had to tell him he didn't have to eat it all, and she thought it was maybe a little too much lunch. I was slightly embarrassed and explained it was my first time packing him a lunch and maybe I got a little over excited. She agreed that I definitely got a little carried away.

Cruz only ate two dinos, and he even told me that I didn't need to give him all the apple slices. Of course he ate all 3 cookies. You live and you learn, and today I learned that I should pack Cruz's future lunches with just as much love and a little less food.

Please Remain Calm

2010-07-06T16:23:00.000-07:00

As a mother, I feel like I'm not allowed to show any emotion and must always remain calm in the face of adversity. I am told that my son feeds off my emotions, and if I get angry, so will he. I am told if I cry, my son will think the worst is happening. And of course, if I'm happy, he will laugh along with me. I am a very emotional person, and it's usually pretty obviously how I'm feeling. So I ask you, dear readers, how does such an emotionally expressive woman keep her feelings at bay? Am I seriously not entitled to get mad or cry for the next several years for the sake of my child?

As a creative person, I embrace my feelings right then and there and let my thoughts flow freely. Yet as a mom, I must think about how I react, the expression on my face, the tone of my voice, and how I handle everything that comes at me because my boy is always watching and learning from what I do. It's as if everything I've been taught to be successful as an artist hinders me from being a calm and collective mother. Not to mention, motherhood has taken most my free time to express my emotions through a creative outlet.

So what do I do now when I'm riding the emotional roller coaster of life? I feel like everyone just wants me to put on a happy face and suck it up. Well, believe me when I say I try.

My Ever So Literal Son

2010-05-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

My son is blossoming into such an intelligent little man. The brilliance in what he says surprises me so often. At the age of 4, he has become very literal. For example, when my husband comes home from work and says he needs a minute to relax before playing a game, Cruz wants to know exactly how many minutes and then proceeds to set a timer. And no matter what, he will hold his dad to whatever time he says. Maybe someday, Cruz will learn it's just a figure of speech and not an actual minute in time, but for now, it's so darn cute.

Yesterday, after taking Cruz to the doctor's office for a checkup and getting ice cream, I told Cruz we needed to hurry home because I had to meet with our landlord at our house at 5 o'clock. Cruz asked how much time we had to get there. I looked at the clock in my car and realized it was a quarter till and told him, "We only have 15 minutes, so we might not make it there by 5. And I'm not going to kill myself trying to get there in time."

Then Cruz says, "Yeah, because if you did that, you'd never get to meet with her." I started laughing at the pure honesty and innocence in his statement. He really brightens my day when he says stuff like that. At his age, he really sees the world in a different light, and he always amazes me.

Wanted: Dishwasher

2010-02-22T22:58:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think 90% of the stress in my household could be eliminated by having a dishwasher. I know this may come as a shock, but we live in a house that is not equipped with such an essential modern convenience. Instead, my husband and I live in the dark ages hand washing our dishes in a sink filled with hot water and soap, and if the dishes are not washed after every meal, the pile builds beyond that which can fit in the average drying rack. So much time wasted on this mindless chore, and an endless battle brews every day over who has to tackle the mountain dish by dish. Oh glorious dishwasher, how I miss you!

Redefining Success

2009-11-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

Earlier this month, I turned 30 years old. Never before has an age had such an impact on me. Now that I'm a year older and a bit wiser, I spent some time reflecting on all that has happened in my life in the recent years and how much things have changed, as well as what my goals are for the future. Right now, I got it pretty good. I have a wonderful son and a loving husband. We enjoy spending time together as a family. We're healthy and happy, and we're getting by just fine. The one part I have struggled with is my success in my professional life. I have a stable job in my field of choice, but it's not exactly what I planned to be doing by the time I turned 30. I thought I would be higher up the ladder by this point and doing something I'm really passionate about, but my career goals evolved and took a backseat at times as I adapted to motherhood.

I had a discussion with a friend about success and he pointed out that success should not be defined by how much money you make, and he reminded me that I have a great kid that is super smart and well-adjusted, therefore my son should be the measure of my success. This made me wonder if maybe I needed to redefine my personal definition of success.

During my high school and college years, I never pictured myself as a wife and mom. I never had visions of my wedding day dancing in my head. I had dreams of being independently successful in whatever career path I chose. I felt that raising a family would stand in the way of my success. I looked up to women who were in the top of their field who didn't depend on a husband and didn't have to go home to cook and clean up after a family. I had a real negative view toward raising children, and even got voted "Most likely to never have children" in high school after going off in class about some mom bringing her baby to a band concert and letting it cry throughout the concert and disturbing everyone. Of course as I got older and especially after the birth of my son, my attitude toward being a mom changed and I love my son more than anything in the world.

So here I am at 30 feeling like I haven't achieved success. I have a full-time job and a family to take care of, but I feel I need to be doing something to further my profession and hustling to do whatever I'm really passionate about. I feel as though I've had to squeeze every second of free time I get to focus on advancing my career to the point I am exhausted and sacrificing time I could be spending with my family. I've been told by friends (who don't have a family of course) that I need better time management. On weekdays, my alarm goes off at 5:00 AM and it's non-stop from the time I get up till I'm drained at 9:00 PM and ready to go to bed. Little time is left after spending quality time with my husband and son, cooking and doing daily chores. The weekends are filled running errands and doing all the house cleaning and laundry that can't get done during the week. Even as I write this post, I feel like I'm making excuses, but where is the extra time and when is it ok to take a break and watch tv? How do you manage time when there's nothing routine about family life? Try as I might, I can't guarantee we eat dinner at a certain time, Cruz will get a bath every night, or he will go to bed at 9 o'clock on the dot. It's just not that simple.

I've seen tons of self-help books that claim that you can do what you love without giving up your day job, but these books are usually written by someone who doesn't have a family. Even is the author does have kids, the advice is written by a man who, in my opinion, doesn't have the same time constraints and commitments a working mother does, or the guidance comes from a stay-at-home mom which has no relevance to my situation because let's face it, working moms and stay-at-home moms are living in completely different worlds when it comes to time management.

I wonder, do I really have a problem with time management, or am I already focusing on what is most important, my family? If my priorities are to maintain a happy household, then shouldn't I define my success by my family's well-being and not by my professional career? Is this even the time for me to throwing in additional commitments and extra work, or should I just enjoy what I got right now?

I have a stable job as Photo Editor at the same company for almost 2 years. Sure I would like to be doing some more challenging and creative and getting more recognition for my hard work, but I have a good job that has a lot of benefits like being able to bring my son to work with me if school is closed. I spend too much time focusing on the negative aspects about my workplace when I should concentrate on the positive aspects and thank my lucky stars I even have a job in this economy.

Without a doubt, I value my family over my career. No amount of money could bring me more happiness then when we are together. After all, shouldn't success be defined by happiness? All I know is, coming home and hugging my son is my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

My Little Boy Turns 4

2009-11-02T15:47:00.000-08:00

We just celebrated Cruz's 4th birthday. I know it sounds cliche, but I can't believe how time flies. They really do grow up so fast.

This year we threw Cruz a real birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. I planned the party a month in advance, and every day Cruz would ask if it was his birthday yet. It was great to see him so excited and looking forward to his big day.

The party was so much fun! He had about 9 friends show up, and they played games and ate ice cream cake. The funniest part was when the guy in the giant mouse costume came out to sing "Happy Birthday," and Cruz made a mad dash out of the party area. Not that I blame him. I giant mouse is pretty scary.

I'm so looking forward to Cruz at 4 years old. It's such a great age. He can play more board games now. He got Candy Land for his birthday, and all three of us can enjoy a family game night. And of course Cruz always wins ;-)

4 Year Anniversary

2009-08-05T21:36:00.001-07:00

My hubby and I just celebrated our 4 year anniversary. I am so happy that our relationship is still as strong as ever. We celebrated by getting an over night sitter for Cruz and going out to eat at Fogo de Chao. The meal was excellent. We had a nice, quiet table in the back and when dessert arrives, it had "Happy Anniversary" spelled out in icing around the plate. So romantic!

Then we enjoyed each other's company back at the house. Watched The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button which was such a great movie. It was long, but watching it in the comforts of home and on the couch made it very enjoyable. Then the rest of the night was full of romance, but I won't go into more details ;-)

Here's to 4 wonderful years together with my man and I'm looking forward to many more!

Mini Vacation

2009-08-05T21:30:00.000-07:00

Cruz and I just got back from a mini vacation to Texas to visit with family. It was a great trip and I really wish we could have spent more time there. We flew in for my family's annual pool party. Cruz got to see all his second cousins that were close to his age and visit with my parents, grandparents and extended family.

The best part about the trip, for me anyway, was this was our first venture with no diapers. I was so proud of my little man for making the trip by plane and time spent in the car with no accidents. He was a little scared of the bathroom on the plane when we flew to Texas, but on the way home, he wasn't as scared and used the potty on the plane. He really is growing up.

Time For Vacation

2009-07-23T06:30:00.000-07:00

Very excited to be visiting with my family in Texas over a long weekend. It's been a long time since Cruz has gotten to see his great-grandparents and grandparents. He's especially excited to see his Granny. We picked a great time to fly in for a visit because the annual pool party/family reunion is this weekend, and we will easily get to see a lot of my extended family as well. Cruz will have all his cousins to play with and we can jump into a nice cool pool to get away from the smoldering Texas heat.

Stop The Music

2009-07-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

When I was younger, my greatest love was music and playing my flute. After high school, I turned down a music scholarship to experience the world. To this day, I have no regrets about no being a music major. I made so many wonderful memories throughout the years, befriended some extraordinary people, and discovered the inspiring world of digital art. However, I have always felt like a piece of me was missing, and the only thing that could fill that void was playing music.

With great excitement and anticipation, I made the decision to start playing the flute again. I ordered some sheet music books online & blew the dust off my polished silver instrument. How thrilled I was to be reunited with my first true love. That was until I started playing. My terrific three year old turned into a tiny terror and proceeded to throw a temper tantrum until I stopped playing and put my flute away. He was having none of it. This meant so much to me, and now I was heartbroken as I heard him cry and say he didn't want to hear mommy's music anymore.

Personally, I was surprised at my son's reaction to me playing the flute. I had assumed he would think it was neat and enjoy hearing the music. Sadly, things do not always go as planned and kids can be real turkeys sometimes. Despite that, I have not given up hope yet. Tomorrow is another day and maybe things will go better.

Cruz Wants A Sibling.

2009-06-29T12:44:00.000-07:00

Cruz, who is 3 years old now, has got it in his head that he wants a little brother or sister. My husband and I have been giving it some thought, but we haven't made a final decision yet. It's a big decision. Cruz is just now finally out of diapers, so are we really ready to start over again with another child?

Cruz has no idea how having a baby in the house will change his current situation. He is the center of attention. He has to sit in between his mommy and daddy at all times. He even sleeps in the big bed with me every night. He has a pretty good thing going.

Last night as my husband and I were tucking Cruz into bed, I asked him where would his brother or sister sleep, and he responds, "In their own bed." My husband and I burst out in laughter. The kid just has has no idea how different things would be if another baby was on the way, but I'm sure he would make an amazing big brother.

The Next American Idol.

2009-06-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is true you must watch what you say around kids because they will pick up anything. As a pre-schooler, Cruz is always listening and it doesn't take him very long to learn new words, phrases and songs.

Last week, I was playing Tap Tap Revenge 2 on my iPhone and was trying to beat my high score on the song "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3. I played it 3 times in a row and didn't think much of Cruz sitting next to me on the couch playing a game on his iPod Touch.

The next morning, Cruz comes up to me and starts singing:

Shush girl shut your lips,
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.

I couldn't believe these words were coming out of my baby's mouth, but I couldn't help but laugh about the whole thing. My husband looks at me and says, "You're not allowed to play that in front of him anymore." And he's probably right.

Now every time I play that song on Tap Tap Revenge 2 (when Cruz is not in the room), I can't help but giggle when that part of the song comes up. It was just too funny.

UPDATE: 7/1/09 I uploaded a video of Cruz singing "Don't Trust Me" by 3OH!3

Call me "Mother"

2009-04-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

Today Cruz upgraded us from Mama and Dada to Mother and Father. It was a little strange to hear our 3 year old call us by those names. I had expected a gradual transition to Mommy then Mom and then maybe Mother, but I never expected it so happen so quickly. It was quite comical. I'm sure we will be Mama and Dada again by morning. My son never ceases to amaze me.

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-13T17:43:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is tomorrow. I've noticed there are a lot of Valentine's Day haters out there. I, for one, am looking forward to tomorrow. I plan to cook a pork shoulder roast that will take all day to cook, and have a romantic dinner with my hubby. I love any excuse to cook a special meal and learn a new recipe.

My mom sent some chocolate covered strawberries, and I will buy a bottle champagne and share them with my husband after dinner. And, my son made the cutest little heart-shaped card at school today. When I picked him up, he ran to me, handed me the card, and yelled, "Happy Valentine's Day!" It made Valentine's Day even more special.

I'm also going to enjoy having a full weekend off. The extra money is nice, but working over time is really exhausting. It's so hard to get everything done with only one full day off every week.

I'm looking forward to Valentine's Day and spending a full weekend with my hubby and son. Hope you all have a fantastic Valentine's Day too! :-)

Pre-School

2009-01-20T19:13:00.001-08:00

When Cruz was 6 months old, I filled out an application for him to go to a pre-school over by our house. Now that he is almost 3 and a half years old, the pre-school finally called to say he could get in.

So many things have changed over the past couple of years. I'm no longer a stay-at-home mom, and I'm working full-time instead. Also, the pre-school is a co-op which means, the parents have to work at the school so many hours a month. Also, Cruz is in daycare. The daycare teaches almost everything they teach in pre-school, and the daycare own says Cruz already knows everything up to the first grade.

I discussed Cruz going to pre-school with the daycare and was told it really was unnecessary and probably more trouble than it's worth considering our work schedules. I was also told that all the kids at that daycare go straight into kindergarten.

So, I guess Cruz won't be going to pre-school after all this time on the waiting list.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

My first blog post of 2009. Happy New Year!

We had a great holiday! Cruz, Josh and I really enjoyed Christmas. We stayed home this year instead of traveling which allowed us more time to relax. I cooked an excellent Christmas dinner with prime rib, sweet & spicy green beans, and basil & chive mashed potatoes. Josh said it was the best meal I ever cooked. I would have to agree. I love to cook and the holiday was a great excuse to really go all out and cook something special.

So now that we have crossed over to 2009, I am really looking forward to another great year. Next week, I will be traveling to San Francisco for Macworld Expo. This will be my first and maybe last Macworld since Apple will no longer be a part of it. I'm really looking forward to this trip. Going to Macworld is something I have always wanted to do since the day I bought my first Mac.

Also, this will be my first overnight trip without Cruz. He has had his mommy there every day since he's been born, so I hope he will not be too upset when I'm going for a couple of days. It will also be an adjustment for my husband, but I know he will manage to get by without me for this short trip. I'm also very fortunate to have such a supportive family encouraging me to go to Macworld. I am very loved!

Cruzmas Tree

2008-12-16T21:54:00.001-08:00

We finally got our tree up last weekend. We put our special handmade star at the top of the tree again this year.

This is the first year we didn't put a gate around the tree, and we already caught Cruz trying to open presents. Kids will be kids. He is so looking forward to Christmas, or Cruzmas as we call it at our house ;-)

Potty Training Woes

2008-12-07T23:14:00.000-08:00

Cruz is three years old now and we have been in the early stages of potty training for quite some time now. Honestly, I'm getting a little concerned he has not taken to it already. Cruz is so smart and learns things quickly, but potty training has been down right difficult. He'll really be into it and will sit on the potty for a couple of days, then he looses interest and cries when you ask him to sit on the potty. Even his daycare teacher is getting frustrated.

We have potty training story books and DVDs. We tried singing cute little songs and rewards with stickers. We give him lots of praise and we have never forced him to use the potty. I can't think of what else to do. I really hope we have a breakthrough soon!

No Dexter again

2008-11-23T19:00:00.001-08:00

Cruz had so much fun on his playdate with Kyra today. He really enjoys her company. They played hard and burned off so much energy I thought for sure Cruz would be out for the night when he feel asleep around 5:00 pm. Then just as my husband and I settled into watching Dexter, Cruz woke up. How foolish were we to think we could actually make it through a whole show we wanted to watch in the evening? So now we're stuck watching Wow Wow Wubbzy until Cruz gets tired again or either my husband or I decide to lay in bed with him till he falls asleep. Of course that person usually ends up falling asleep too, and Dexter will remain on TiVo until we get a chance to watch it again. 'Tis life with kids ;-)

The Human Teddy Bear

2008-11-11T17:46:00.001-08:00

I seem to have become a human teddy bear for my three year old son. Cruz sleeps in our bed at night. We have a king size bed, and even with a mattress that large, he must cuddle up right next to me. He always has to be touching me with either a hand or foot, and together we take up a forth of the bed.

Having him in the big bed has never been that big of a deal for my husband and me. I work all day and enjoy the extra bonding I get from sharing the room with Cruz. Some day he will want his own room and to sleep in his own bed, and then we will have to figure out how to convert the office into his special place. But for now, sharing the room works for us.

Recently though, I'm having a hard time waking up in the morning without also waking Cruz. We have a foam mattress that makes it easy to get in and out of bed without disturbing anyone else sleeping in the bed. However, Cruz sleeps so close to me and constantly has a hand or foot on me to make sure I'm still there, so the second I try to get out of bed, he wakes up.

Problem is, I get up at 5:00 AM so I can get a few things done before anyone else wakes up. Things like check my email, balance the checkbook, and post on Twitter. Honestly, it's "mommy-time" and about the only time I get to myself most days. If Cruz wakes up when I do, he's constantly requesting food and drink and particular cartoons, or he wants to sit on my lap while I'm using the computer. Basically, it distracts from my mommy-time.

I wish he had a teddy bear to cuddle with in bed instead of using me as his human teddy bear. Then maybe he would sleep in a little longer.. Or maybe he just likes to get up at 5:00 AM. He's definitely more of a morning person than I am ;-)

Sing, Cruz, sing!

2008-11-05T17:42:00.001-08:00

Cruz has started singing all the time. It's the cutest thing in the world! When we're in the car, he sings along to all the songs on the CD of children's music I made for him. His favorite song seems to be Hakuna Matata. Cruz gets so animated when he sings that song. I just love it, and he brightens my day when he sings songs for me.

Cruz's 3rd Birthday

2008-10-27T18:46:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Cruz's 3rd birthday last weekend. i can't believe how fast he is growing up!

My parents came into town to visit and celebrate Cruz's special day. It was so nice to have them here! I really miss having my family close by, and Cruz really enjoys his time with them. I sometimes wish we lived closer and could spend more time with them.

So Friday, Cruz had a birthday party at daycare. Then Saturday, we attended another birthday party for one of Cruz's friends that shares the same birthday as his. After her party, we took Cruz home to open his presents and eat his ice cream cake. He was so excited to see a cake with his name on it. He got some new clothes and his iPod Touch. Yay! Now I don't have to share my iPhone.

Sunday, we took Cruz to Chuck E Cheese and met up with a playmate and her mommy. They really enjoyed Chuck E Cheese, and I enjoyed spending time with a mommy friend.

Sunday night my parents watched Cruz, and my husband and I got a chance to go have a nice dinner together at Ford's Filling Station. The meal was wonderful and it was nice to have some adult only time. Then, we came back home and my parents had to go back to their hotel to pack up to leave the next day. Cruz said he wanted to go with them and ran to grab his clothes and shoes and stood at the door calling out to them. It was so cute and a little sad at the same time because I know he will miss them, and they will miss him until we get a chance to go visit early next year.

Today, we had breakfast with my parents on their last day here. Then it was back to daycare and work as normal. I was sad my parents had to go, but we had a wonderful weekend and Cruz had a great birthday celebration.

Picking out a Halloween costume

2008-10-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

We took Cruz to the Halloween store today so he could pick out his costume.

First, I have to mention.. I looked at costumes on the internet with him, hoping we could save ourselves the trip. Cruz picked out a superhero, then a pirate, then a robot, then a tomato and so on. I told him, he had to pick just one, and he said he wanted to be a tomato. Easy right?

I asked him to go tell his dad what he was going to be. He runs into the living room saying he wanted to be a tomato. His dad replies, "Cool! You want to be a tomato." To which Cruz responds, "I don't want to be a tomato. I want to be a robot." This continued on the whole evening. I gave up and we decided to take him to the store for him to pick out a costume.

Ok, so we go to buy a costume today, and Cruz was like a kid in a candy shop. He went nuts. It was so cute! He wanted to try on all the hats, masks, and said he wanted this costume as picked up a tomb stone decoration. He wasn't interested in any costume we showed him. He decided on a pumpkin suit at first, then a banana. I can't even remember the other costume he liked, but we told him he had to put them all back but one. Of course, misinterpreting out directions, he put all the costumes back. When our patience diminished, we ended up just buying him a couple of hats. He really liked all the hats best anyway and they're nice to add to his dress-up box.

I'm not sure if this ends our Halloween costume shopping or not. We'll just have to wait and see if he ever decides on one costume. Whatever happens, he'll still have a fun time this year trick-or-treating for the first time.

Mama do it!

2008-10-05T16:26:00.000-07:00

Cruz said "Dada" long before he learned to say "Mama". I remember being so upset about it, but my mom assured me once he started saying my name, it wouldn't be long before I was tired of hearing it. As much as I love my little man, she was right.

Cruz wants Mama to do EVERYTHING! I feel like I never get a break. My husband is great and helps out as much as he can and then some. He intervenes and tries to take on tasks Cruz requests, but my head strong son insists Mama do it. I'm speaking, of course, of things as simple as pouring a cup of milk to changing a smelly diaper. I just gets so frustrating sometimes when I'm trying to complete the many responsibilities I assign myself such as cooking dinner at night and prepping meals for the week ahead and my weekly cleaning. Not to mention the times when I want to do something for myself like writing another blog entry. A part of me feels guilty, but a mom just needs a break sometimes!

Found this pic on my iPhone

2008-09-28T17:56:00.001-07:00

While looking through the camera roll on my iPhone, I discovered this photo of Cruz and me zonked out on the couch. It was taken by my hubby. I had no idea. LOL! Too cute.

My Little Geek

2008-09-27T12:23:00.000-07:00

It's official. Cruz has taken over my digital life! As proud as I am that he is following in my geeky foot steps, he always wants to use my iMac or my iPhone. At only 2 years old, I am amazed at how well he knows his way around the iPhone, and so it was no surprise that he quickly was clicking away on a computer.

I set up a limited user account for him on my iMac so I don't have to worry about him deleting anything important or looking at some website he shouldn't be on. When he plays games on my iPhone, I have to watch him a little more closely because he has called people and sent emails before. My mom really thought it was sweet when Cruz called her all by himself.

I know it might sound a little crazy, but we're getting Cruz an iPod Touch for his 3rd birthday next month. Finally, he will have his own electronic device to play games on, and I can reclaim my digital life.

Pushing

2008-09-16T21:00:00.000-07:00

Yes pushing. Cruz is pushing. I was told by the daycare teacher that Cruz is pushing there. I've seen him push at Gymboree and at the playground. He pushes, pushes, pushes. I know he learned it from someone. I don't want to blame others, but everything kids do at 2 years old is learned some where.

I talk to him. I tell him "Don't push your friends. Hug you friends." It doesn't help. It's so frustrating. Plus, Cruz is a big boy, and has a lot more strength than most kids his age. I would never want him to hurt another kid.

I really hope this phase will pass soon!

The Articulate Child

2008-09-16T20:44:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday we Cruz had a playdate at the park. After we got home from a enjoyable day out, my husband tells me Cruz's friend is much more articulate than Cruz and she is much easier to understand. Both kids are the same age. Exactly the same age to be more precise as they share the same birthday. He's right, Cruz's friend speaks beautifully. However, I always thought 2 years old were hard to understand even before I had children. I always figured that the parents have an easier time understanding their own children, as is the case here. For the most part I understand him perfectly. Yet, my husband thinks we need to work with Cruz in order to improve how well he speaks.

This isn't the first time someone has made a comment about Cruz's speaking ability. I recently has a BBQ and a co-worker of mine later told me that he couldn't understand Cruz very well. I didn't really let the comment bother me much since my co-worker is not a parent. But my own husband, being Cruz's father, making such a comment does concern me.

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to work with him some to make sure he is speaking clearly. I'm assumed his speech was normal and well get better as he gets older. Cruz is such a bright child, and he excels in so many ways. He talks all the time, but I'm not sure how much I should really be concerned about how well he's understood by others at this age.

Dome

2008-08-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

This is a funny story I've been meaning to post for some time..

As a joke my husband wrote words on the back of wooden letters from Cruz's alphabet puzzle. On the letter C he wrote "CRUZ" and so on, but on the back of the letter D he wrote "DO ME." Cruz, being the inquisitive child that he is, noticed the writing on the back of the wooden letters and asked what each one said. First, asking what was on C which I easily answered, "CRUZ." At the time, I had forgotten about the letter D, and as Cruz proceeded to hand me that letter, I stumbled upon my words unsure what to say. I could not possibly tell a two year old it said "DO ME." As the x-rated phrase boldly gleamed in front of me, I quickly adverted it by saying, "DOME! It says DOME." Ah, a sigh of relief!

Working Mom

2008-01-18T06:29:00.000-08:00

Now that I've landed a job, I have more time to blog. The search has been exhausting, but I finally took an offer. The job is nothing glamorous, but it's a full-time, stable position in a creative environment as a Photo Editor. The best part of about the job is it's close to home and and the hours give me plenty of time in the afternoon to spend with Cruz.

I'm really excited about going back to work. Cruz has been in daycare since Thanksgiving, and I've been going out of my mind at home without him. LOL! It's one thing to not be employed when you're a stay-at-home mom, but I can't justify staying home when my kid is in daycare. I'm just not one of those people who feels no guilt and can take advantage of a situation like that. When I wasn't browsing job ads or going to interviews, I was constantly finding things to occupy my time to justify being at home. Anyway, glad that's over with and everything is falling into place. I start my new job Monday morning :)

So here's a funny thing that happened since my last blog.. Cruz got ahold of a stick of butter on the kitchen counter and thought it was cheese. He was squeezing the it in his hands, and butter was dripping down his arms and on the floor. He had it all over his face, and had taken a few bites before I caught him. I guess he doesn't have to worry about his cholesterol yet. LOL :p

That's pretty much it for now. I'll try to blog more ;)

Good times!

re-entering the work force

2007-12-07T14:05:00.000-08:00

ok, i know it's been forever since i last blogged, but as Cruz gets older, i seem to have less free time. what amazes me is, my son is now going to daycare full-time so i can re-enter the work force, and i still don't have time to spare. so yes, i'm attempting to go back to work. Cruz is now 2 years old and my husband and i think two incomes would be very beneficial. plus, daycare has been very good for Cruz. he's getting a great deal more stimulation then i could provide him by myself and he enjoys playing with other kids his age.

i thought re-entering the work force would be easier than it is. having children puts a lot of restrictions in my work possibilities. i could just get a job to get a paycheck, but i thought i would get more satisfaction if i pursued a career in something i wanted to do.. like graphic design, motion graphics, or visual effect. which, BTW, is what i moved to LA LA Land for in first place. i don't mind working a mind numbing, low paying position if it has the opportunity for advancement in a field i like. i'm eager to get my foot in the door and climb my way up the ladder. the problem is, i have hourly restrictions since Cruz has to be picked up from daycare by 6pm, and i can only work Mon-Fri because my husband frequently is sent out of town on business leaving me with no help with Cruz. I also suspect the second a prospective employer hears the word "child" they instantly throw your application in the trash thinking you would need more time off than someone without children.

i'm doing my best to stay positive and hope the right job will present itself.

don't say that!

2007-07-09T15:11:00.000-07:00

Cruz is picking up words left and right! he's repeating most things after hearing them only once.. it's amazing!!!

he even picked up a few bad words.. lol. the hubby and i really need to watch what we say around this sponge-like toddler!

so much to post.. so little time!

2007-06-19T19:09:00.000-07:00

omg.. there's so much that's happened since my last post. my budding toddler leaves little time to spare, and when i do get a break, blogging is not top priority. so i'll try to blab it all quickly now.

1. we got a family pet.. a kitten. her name is Gizmo. she's a cutie but she's been sick since we got her. i estimate, we have spent around $300 on getting her well thus far. i have had some regrets getting her, but i'm sure once she's well, she will be a wonderful pet. Cruz is really excited to have a kitty! maybe a little too excited.. lol. he's pretty gentle around her, but then he yells, "KITTY!" and scares her. Gizmo will be one brave kitty for sure!

2. i became playgroup captain of my Stroller Strides class. now, i plan group activities for the babies and toddlers to do after the mommies workout. my first playgroup was arts and crafts for Father's Day.. we made sticker cards and colored pictures for the daddies. the project was fun and kept the kids attention for about 20 minutes so i would call it a success. next month, i'm planning story time at the beach and lunch at a near by restuarant that has a nice outdoor garden area that will keep the kids entertained while the mommies can eat and chat. i'm looking forward to planning some fun activities for my group!

3. funny story: i caught Cruz with his hand in the cookie jar. i had a box of cookies sitting on the kitchen counter that apparently wasn't out of his reach. i heard him messing with something in the kitchen and had a feeling he was up to no good. when i went to check on Cruz, i saw him sitting on the kitchen floor surrounded by crumbs, face covered in chocolate, and with a pile of cookies in front of him with a bite or two taken out of every one. i laughed at such a site and quickly grabbed my camera to take a picture before taking away the cookies.

4. i got my hubby a biplane ride for Father's Day. he enjoyed it and had a fantastic and relaxing weekend.

5. i took Cruz to the zoo for the first time. we went with another mom and her daughter from Gymboree class. we had a great time. i really enjoyed spending time and talking with the other mommy and her daughter was such a joy. her and Cruz got along really well!

well, that's all for now. my hubby just got home and i need to chat with him before giving Cruz his bath. break time is over.. back to being mom ;)

some days are better than others

2007-05-17T15:08:00.000-07:00

what a crappy day! first off, today is the Stroller Strides field trip to the aquarium, which i really wanted to take Cruz to, but my ride canceled on me at the last minute and i was unable to hitch a ride with any fellow Stroller Striders.. no big deal.. i had a B plan. i arranged a music class preview for Cruz today. when we arrived at the mall for the music class, first thing i saw was the elevator was still out of order. i don't feel comfortable taking the stroller onto the escalators, so i went into Nordstrom to use their elevator. the music class started off ok. Cruz loved banging on the drum, but he had no desire to participate in any of the other activities in class and instead spent most the class trying to open doors in the back of the room. he ran back and forth giggling until he he tripped over another kid in the class and they both started crying. stressed out after class, i decided to take Cruz upstairs to the food court for lunch. because of the broken elevator at one side of the mall, the second elevator we now needed to take to the food court had a long line and long wait. also, the escalator going up the food court was out of service too. i took Cruz out of the stroller and had him crawl up the stairs as i carried the stroller to the top. a couple stopped and was nice enough to help me out by carrying the stroller so i could help Cruz up to the top. kudos to them :)

we eat lunch and wind down. i had high hopes that Cruz would take a nap following lunch so i could spend some money my mom send me for mother's day. after lunch and a diaper change, we head over to a clothing store so i could take a peak and see how Cruz would behave while i shopped. after a few minutes he fell asleep even with the loud music playing throughout the store. i take my time looking through the clothes. i had 12 items of clothing picked out when i went to the dressing room, but sadly only choose 3 when i checked out. the clothes looked much better on the shelf and mannequins then they did on me. plus the lighting in the dressing room was terrible! i saw every flaw in my body and that doesn't make me want to buy the clothes.

stores should really take that into consideration when designing their store. in the right lighting.. anyone can look good in the clothes, thus people will buy more clothes. that's just a side note.. back to what i was saying before.

i paid for my 3 shirts and made a pit stop at the family restroom for a potty break. i thought i could go in there real fast and then move on to more stores before Cruz woke up. it's usually quiet in there but some squawking kid ended up waking Cruz up. thanks a lot! when Cruz gets woken up too early from his nap, he's hella cranky! and then came the tears. now, i was mad because i knew my shopping day was over and i had only spent $38 out of the $150 my mom had sent me.

we leave the bathroom and Cruz is still upset and crying. we head toward the elevator by the food court to go down and go home. again, long line and long wait. grrr! i have NEVER attempted going down the escalator with the stroller, but it was looking like my only option to get out of there as quick as possible and soothe my angry toddler. i step onto the escalator backwards and the stroller follows. it catches the front wheel before straightening out. i almost have a heart attack thinking the stroller is going to fall over. did i mention i have a fear of escalators in the first place? i step off at the bottom and the stroller gives a hard thump exiting the escalator. everything on the tray falls into Cruz's lap and Cruz yells out real loud and starts crying again. it was a scary situation but no harm was done.

i'm still steaming and Cruz is still upset. i turn the stroller around to head toward the entrance when some old man approaches me and says, "you know there's an elevator over there you should use." OMG! this was not the time to butt into this already mad mama's business with unsolicited advice. i went off on how he needed to mind his own bee's wax and how terrible this mall was for not having everything in working order, and how he had no idea what i was going through.

now i'm super raging mad. i grind my teeth as i make it the rest the way through the mall and out to catch my bus. i went the rest of the way home in complete silence.. ignoring Cruz's occasional "truck" as one would drive by.

things are calmer now that we are home and i've had time to reflect and relax. venting through my blog doesn't hurt either.. lol ;)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

2007-05-13T12:41:00.000-07:00

and what a wonderful mother's day it is! yesterday, i got a manicure, pedicure, and massage. my nails are super cute and i'm so relaxed. today, i got the sweetest card signed by Cruz (with help from dad of course) and a soft and fluffy pink cotton robe. to top it all off, i got a mother's day cake from Ben and Jerry's. OMG! it's so yummy. i'm in sugar coma.. lol

my hubby is the greatest! he did all the laundry and cleaned so i can sit back and enjoy this day! thanks to the two special guys in my life for making this such a perfect mother's day!

EDIT: i forgot to mention my mom sent me the coolest mama's day gift. it's a coffee cup with a photo of me kissing Cruz and it says "Happy Mother's Day 2007" on the other side. so cute!

Cruz discovers the water cooler

2007-05-03T23:12:00.000-07:00

the other day, i was in here on the computer trying to get some stuff done after Cruz woke up from his nap. what i thought would take a couple of clicks of the mouse turned out to be more of a process. after completing my task, i went to check on my curious toddler. he wasn't in the livingroom; he was in the kitchen. i walk in and catch him over near the water cooler with his hand pushing down on the cold water lever. the floor was soaked beneath his feet. a puddle of water went from the wall to under the oven and covering half of the kitchen area.

"Cruz," i say in a fairly calm tone, "don't touch!" startled, he jumps and turns away from the water cooler as i approach closer. upon further inspection, i find my diaper bag on the kitchen floor in front of the dispenser. i pick it up and watch the water stream out of the cloth outer lining.

now i don't know about the rest of you moms, but my diaper bag is my purse and all of my personal items are carried in it. important items like my LifeDrive, digital camera, sun glasses, bus card, etc. are inside. fortunately, the inner liner kept everything inside dry, so no harm done.. thank goodness! i turned on an episode of Blue's Clues to keep Cruz's attention while i went about cleaning up the rest of the mess in the kitchen and salvaging the contents of my bag.

so yeah, good times! check on your kids and check on them often, i think, is the lesson here.. lol ;)

adventures in art

2007-04-28T07:02:00.000-07:00

i took Cruz to the Getty Center yesterday as part of a Stroller Strides playgroup. i had concerns all week if Cruz would even enjoy a museum outing, or if he would be bored stuck in a stroller. after learning about the gardens and water fountains there, i decided at the last minute to go.

the Stroller Strides evite said to be there at 11am. i mapped out our bus route to the Getty so we would arrive a quarter till, giving us a little extra time incase a bus was late. having to take the bus there was also a concern i had. usually, Cruz and i just run short errands around our neighborhood, but going to the Getty would take 3 buses and 1 hour to get there. plus, we had to take a metro rapid bus which i had never done before. this was definitely an adventure!

all the buses were on time. we got on the big red metro rapid which was pretty cool. it was one of those buses that is two bus lengths long, and it had tv very similar to what's televised on an airplane. it had a little map that showed where you were and then showed little video clips. all my concerns about taking a long bus trip disappeared because Cruz loves tv.

we get dropped off at the Getty bus stop ahead of schedule, around 10:35am which is good because i've never been there before and wasn't sure where to go. i discover you have to take a tram up the mountain side to the museum entrance. i borrowed one of the Getty courtesy strollers and Cruz and i entered the tram. the view was beautiful on the way to the top. i also got a glimpse at the lovely traffic backed up on the 405 which always reminds me why i like riding the bus.

by the time we reached the museum entrance, it was a quarter till. i grabbed a banana and a bottled water from the outside cafe and looked around for other Stroller Striders. i saw none. i thought maybe they're inside, so we took a look. i saw no one there either. i thought maybe they were waiting by where the tram let people off, so we took a look, but still no. a little after 11am, i took Cruz to the court yard just past the museum entrance to look at the water fountains, and also to wait for someone else in our group to show up. at 11:30am i finally gave up waiting because i knew Cruz wasn't going to last much longer strapped in a stroller. i took a look at the museum map and found a garden that looked like a nice place to let Cruz run around and we headed that way. as soon as we walked outside, a woman pushing a stroller came up to me and asked if i was with Stroller Strides. she had been waiting too and hadn't seen anyone else she knew. i put our garden stroll on hold for the moment and waited with the other mom.

after a few more minutes of waiting some other Stroller Striders showed up, but still no sign of the coordinator. Cruz was getting antsy so i took him out of the stroller to let him run around the entrance hall. we played a game of little circle, big circle with the floor tile design to pass the time. i think it was a quarter till noon when the event coordinator finally arrived. she explained the evite said they would be coming after that morning's Stroller Strides class and that's why she was late.

i'm sorry but if you put together a playgroup and say to meet at 11am, then be there at 11am.. especially if you're the coordinator!

i noticed most the moms who were part of our group had babies that were not walking while i had a toddler that was very mobile and eager to get going. a couple other moms and i decided to take a stroll through the garden while the rest waited for any other straggling moms. finally, we were back on track. before venturing down the garden path, i let Cruz out so he could walk the path beside me. this got me separated from the other moms because they were pushing their babies in the stroller. Cruz and i were only half down the path when the other moms were on their way back up. they said they were going up to the Garden Cafe to meet up with the rest of the group for lunch. i told them we would meet them there once we finished walking the path.

Cruz enjoyed all the flowers and waterfalls on our garden walk. around 12:30pm Cruz and i made our way to the cafe, but i didn't see my group. not wanting to let this get me down, i decided to stop looking for them and just do things on our own. although, i was a little miffed because i had to wait for them to show up and they couldn't wait for me for lunch. i bought some food and we sat down to eat with a wonderful garden view.

after lunch, we headed over to the family room that had art kids could interact with. Cruz got to run around and write on the walls and have fun with the art pieces there. a few minutes went by and coincidentally we ran into the other members of our group. i thought how cool, we caught back up with everyone. we played in the family room a bit longer. then Cruz ran by the door and i saw the other moms outside looking at the map to go somewhere else, and no one had told us they were moving on. how rude!!!

by the time Cruz was ready to go, there was no sign of the other Stroller Striders so again, we were on our own. i wasn't going to let their rudeness stop us from having fun. next, i took Cruz to see some of the art pieces in the exhibit halls. then, he ran around outside, falling once and getting a boo-boo on his chin. after a quick cry and a kiss from mom to fix the boo-boo, we took in the view from the mountain top before i decided it was getting late and we should head home before traffic got thick.

on the bus ride home, Cruz fell asleep from his long day and adventures in art. we had a lot of fun even though we never stayed with our group. i only wished we wouldn't have waisted an hour just waiting around and done our own thing at the museum earlier. regardless, we made the best of it and had a successful and fun day at the Getty. i think i will definitely be taking Cruz out there again soon but not as part of another Stroller Strides playgroup.

Cruz's big boy bed

2007-04-23T17:09:00.000-07:00

we moved Cruz into his toddler bed last weekend. he has been sharing the big bed with my husband and me, which is fine, but we wanted to open Cruz up to the idea of sleeping in his own bed ;)

the problem with the crib, i think, is Cruz feels more comfortable when he can get in and out of bed at his liberty. this proves why he would sleep better when he was sleeping in our bed because he didn't feel trapped. Putting Cruz in the crib was almost a punishment to him because he knew he would be stuck there until someone came into the room and took him out. that's no good!

so this weekend we took the side rail off the crib and converted it to a toddler bed. we put a pillow in the bed with Cruz's favorite pillow case featuring pictures of trucks and a few transition objects that he is used to for night time. Cruz was eager to climb into his big boy bed and try it out. i told him it was nap time and he needed to lay down on his pillow, and he did. it was so cute! he didn't take a nap immediately at that time, but he did take a nap a little later that day in his new bed.

that night my hubby and i had a hard time getting him to go to sleep because Cruz knew we wanted him to sleep in the big boy bed and he doesn't like sleeping alone. after a two hour struggle we finally got him to sleep but he was snoozing in our bed. my husband says we shouldn't force him because we don't want him to hate the new bed.

today, Cruz took a really good nap in his new bed. i think he likes his big boy bed, and i hope it will encourage a little more independence from our little guy.

breastfeeding a toddler

2007-04-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

i'm having concerns over breastfeeding my toddler. i've been waiting for Cruz to self-ween, and i figure he knows what he needs. i have no issues with feeding my son in public because i can control where we feed. if we are out and about and he wants boob, i just tell him we have to wait till we get home and he understands. usual feedings are before naptime and before bed and off and on during the night since Cruz sleeps in our bed. it's just sometimes it's too much.. i need a break or i need to get something done and Cruz only wants me to put him to sleep, well, actually he wants the boob to put him to sleep.

tonight, i told him no boobie and he cried and cried. i felt so bad! i tried to comfort him but nothing worked. when he calmed down enough i asked him what he needed to make it all better and replies, "boob." adorable.. so i gave in and breastfed him until he fell asleep.

i read through La Leche League's website for some advice. it said:

"Breastfeeding a toddler helps with the child's ability to mature. Although some experts say a toddler who is not weaned will have difficulty becoming independent, it's usually the fearful, clingy children that have been pushed into situations requiring too much independence too soon. A breastfeeding toddler is having his dependency needs met. The closeness and availability of the mother through breastfeeding is one of the best ways to help toddlers grow emotionally.

Breastfeeding can help a toddler understand discipline as well. Discipline is teaching a child about what is right and good, not punishment for normal toddler behavior. To help a toddler with discipline, he needs to feel good about himself and his world. Breastfeeding helps a toddler feel good about himself, because his needs are being met."

source: www.lalecheleague.org

this made me feel even worse. i felt i was being selfish by pushing my son into weaning before he was ready. i really don't mind breastfeeding him. i love the closeness and bond we get from it, but like i said before, sometimes i just need a break. i'm just not sure how to get a break while still breastfeeding.

also, i think some of this pressure to ween my child comes from American society where it is not the norm to continue breastfeeding after age one. i honestly don't know a single mother who even breastfed their child till their first birthday.. most quit after the first time their baby bit them, or they claim their child simply didn't want boob anymore around nine months. however, these same moms think it's great that i still breastfeed, and everyone including my family has been supportive, so i have no reason to feel i'm doing anything wrong.

i still think continuing to breastfeed is best for Cruz as long as he thinks he needs it, so i'm not going to punish him by taking away the boob. i love him so much and i want his needs to be met.. that's what is most important!

how time flies!

2007-04-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

i can't believe how fast my little man is growing up! i always hear people say it but you never really believe it till you have kids of your own. in a couple of weeks, Cruz will be 1 1/2 years old.. wow! it's amazing how much he has accomplished and learned in just 18 months. i couldn't be more proud!

i've been researching preschools in my area after hearing another mom's struggles to find the right one for her son who is two years old. apparently, the wait lists at the good schools are very long. i've even been told i should have gotten Cruz on a list when i was pregnant. unbelievable! i'm going on my first preschool tour in a week or so just to check more into it. i as hoping my son starting preschool would open up some time for me to focus on my career, but i had no idea preschool was so expensive and hard to get into. i'll take it one step at a time and see how it goes. i just never thought preschool would be something i would have to worry about already. how time flies!

good friends, good food, good times

2007-03-24T22:49:00.000-07:00

today was the big backyard bbq, and it went off without a hitch.. it was a blast! everyone had a great time including Cruz and myself. of course, i made way more food than was needed, but that only mean my hubby will be able to enjoy soem leftover when he returns from his business trip tomorrow. i'm sad he missed out on such a great party, but all our friends will get together some time again in the near future, so no worries ;)

my son had a lovely time too. he played with a friend in the sandbox and got really dirty as toddler do. he woke up with a runny nose this morning, so i'm glad he got to play outside before it gets any worse.

today was a good day for a bbq. i'm glad it went well! i love throwing a good get-together with friends :)

it's a good day for a BBQ

2007-03-23T17:03:00.000-07:00

tomorrow will be a good day for a bbq! i've been planning a backyard bbq all week. everything is in order and today my husband calls me and says his job is sending him out of town saturday through monday. unbelievable! well, there's nothing we can do about it, so i'm going on with my bbq plans.

my guest list looks to be about 10 people which is a pretty good turnout. i invited a mommy friend who is bringing over her daughter to play with Cruz. the sandbox is all set up. the great thing about the backyard is, we can close the gate and let the kids run around and the grown-ups can relax and not chase them around ;)

i'm going to miss my hubby and i hope i will be able to pull this party off all by myself! just take in a deep breath and think good thoughts. with good food and good friends only good things can happen!

it's not always peaches and cream

2007-03-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

so this early time change is kicking my butt! i'm having a hard time getting up at 6:30am to start the day. i'm not much of a morning person and i'm a little cranky before my morning cup of coffee. that being said, i bit off my husband's head the other day and i shouldn't have, but it happens sometimes. i overslept and was having a stressful time getting everything done in the morning and getting out the door to make it to Stroller Strides on time. when i woke up, the kitchen and livingroom was a mess as it is sometimes because my husband and i are too tired at the end of the day to cleanup after we get out son to bed. but as much as i hate doing dishes at night, i REALLY hate doing them first thing in the morning. to make matters worse, i didn't have time to clean up at all because i overslept, so my day was not off to a good start. the Stroller Strides mommies were staying after class for a picnic at the beach, so i had to pack extra food for Cruz and myself.. this was making my normal routine take even longer. Cruz was upset and i was rushing to get ready, and i was wishing i had an extra pair of arms to get everything done. instead of asking my unsuspecting husband for help, i gripe at him for not doing more to help me out. that wasn't the right thing to do, but sometimes i get so stressed out trying to manage the household and take care of Cruz.

plus, my husband wants me to work because we could use the extra income. i've been trying to get back into freelance work, but it's so hard juggling putting together a portfolio and being mom. so later that night, i explained to my husband, that if i was going to have time to work, i was would need him to help me out more with the house work. don't get me wrong, my husband is a great dad and he helps me out a lot, but even then, half my day is spent just doing housework. the only breathing time i have is during Cruz's nap, and that's always an unpredictable amount of time. not to mention, some days i am so tired it's hard to get motivated instead of taking a much deserved break. but that's just part of being a grown up, i guess.

so yeah, it's not always peaches and cream being a mom. i get stressed out sometimes and i get mad sometimes, but i love my son and i love my husband. i'll learn from my mistakes, and things always seem to work themselves out over time. i'm gonna try to relax more and try harder to wake up on time regardless of the time change. my husband will help me out more around the house, and Cruz will be Cruz and smile at me every morning.. that's a start!

blooming into an inquisitive toddler

2007-03-16T13:05:00.000-07:00

i had to edit my page description today because i've realized my baby boy is not so "baby" anymore.

he's a full fledged toddler!

he's growing up so fast!!!

i'm so proud of him. he's so inquisitive and wants to know everything about the world around him. he points at everything asking what it is, and he learns so fast. Cruz is so smart, of course he's got good genes for that kind of thing.. lol ;)

stickers stickers everywhere

2007-03-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

i started giving my son stickers as rewards. this works great for my toddler!

i was having all kinds of trouble getting him to hold still to change his diaper, but now that he knows he'll get a colorful sticker for being a good helper, he sits right down and gets the business done. same goes for getting dressed, brushing his teeth and hair.

oh glorious reward system.. a mom's best friend!

haircut drama

2007-03-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

Cruz got his first haircut yesterday. we took him to this place that specializes in kids hair. instead of the standard salon chair, they have cars and trucks for the kids to sit in. we put Cruz in the Wiggles car and he seemed to enjoy it.. turning the steering wheel and beeping the horn. Blue's Clues was playing on the TV in front of him so i thought it was gonna be a breeze. then the lady started cutting his hair. a river of tears followed. my poor baby was so upset. despite the traumatic experience, the haircut turned out pretty great! he's looks so much more grown up now.. my little man :)

we spoiled him a little at Toy R Us after the haircut. and we picked up a potty so we can start potty training. nothing too serious yet, we just got the potty and pull-ups. he's already bringing a new diaper to his daddy or me when he's wet, and my son HATES wearing diapers, so we thought it couldn't hurt to get started. i can't believe how fast he's growing up.

Cruz's first hair cut this Saturday

2007-03-08T11:19:00.000-08:00

well, i finally gave in and made an appointment for Cruz to et his first hair cut. i lvoe his long surfer hair with the cute little curls at the ends, but his hair keeps getting in his eyes, so it's time for a trim. i hope it all goes well. i wouldn't want to get near him with scissors so i'm leavng it to the professionals this Saturday.

stay tuned...

what a way to start the morning

2007-03-07T08:40:00.000-08:00

ok, i'm still not feeling totally well, but i thought i would try to go to Stroller Strides this morning and get Cruz and myself out of the house. the morning started off pretty normal. i made a cup of coffee and cooked breakfast for everyone. as soon as i got the eggs on the plates i looked into the livingroom to check on my son who was hypnotized by Blue's Clues, and what do i see?.. to my surprise, a naked baby. he had managed to remove his diaper and then pooped, getting some on his feet and tracking it in a trail around the couch. oh gross!

Cruz was just standing in place looking at his brown covered foot not sure what to do. i ask him to stand still while i grabbed some wipes to clean him off. once he was washed off, i tackled the floor picking up a little piece here and a little piece there, working my way to the pile from which the poop originated. oh what fun! LOL

so i guess this is my first poopie adventure story. i'm sure more will follow in the next years.

this reminds my of my poopie stories from when i was a baby. my mom told me about the time she heard me wake up in my crib but she decided to lay in bed a little longer. so while i waited in my crib i entertained myself by sticking my hand into my poop filled diaper and finger painting my crib. my mom said she always got up and took me out of my crib the second she heard me stir after that.. LOL!

my husband told me his poopie story from his childhood this morning. he said he stuck his hand in his diaper and scooted around in a circle leaving a poop print behind on the carpet.. oh my!

so i guess things could be worse and this poopie adventure was not that bad. needless to say, i decided to take another day off and stay in instead of working out. now were hanging out in the backyard and trying out some of the new sandbox toys i bought yesterday. it's not much of an outing but it's something. hopefully by tomorrow i will be better and well enough to venture out to the beach. i hate being sick!

moms need sick days too

2007-03-06T14:31:00.000-08:00

ouch! my poor throat has been sore all week!

Cruz just got over a stuffy nose and sore throat, and sure enough, i caught it next. i feel terrible!!! i can't even imagine how bad it must had been when Cruz had this cold. poor baby!

the only difference is, i gave Cruz medicine to help comfort him through his cold and i held off on medicating myself since i'm still breast feeding. but enough is enough! after a couple of miserable days, i gave in and bought some relief.

i still am not 100% but i was able to get my son out of the house for some fun at Gymboree today. this mom needs some sick days off.. lol!

being sick is a mom's worst nightmare. when Cruz was sick, i made sure he stayed in and rested up and took good care of him till he got better. now that i'm sick, i don't get to slow down. i still managed to do all my mothering duties, but Cruz doesn't understand why i'm not as bouncy and playful as usual, and he gets frustrated when i don't take him outside when he wants to play.

ugh, i just hope i get over this cold soon, for me and for my baby boy!

here's a funny story..

2007-03-01T13:58:00.000-08:00

last week i took Cruz to the pediatrician for his 15 month check up. his appointment was with a new doctor at the office since i spaced on his original appointment date and had to reschedule, but that's not important.. lol.. a mom is allowed a mistake every now and then ;)

anyway, the doctor was asking all the usual questions like what does he eat, does he sleep through the night, etc. then she asked if he was drinking whole milk. i answered, "yes, but sometimes i mix the milk with toddler formula, especially the last bottle before bed time."

she responded by saying that i could take him off the formula completely because kids don't get enough hydration when you add milk to powered formula. puzzled, i paused and thought for a second about what she just said. people use milk instead of water when making formula?

i replied, "no, no, i mix the formula with water as i did when he was younger and then top it off with milk. i make 4 ounces of formula as directed on the label and then add another 4 ounces of milk to that. when Cruz drinks only whole milk, he doesn't drink much but if i add the formula, he drinks a full 8 ounces before bed which helps him sleep."

after clarifying, the doc assured me that was ok. what a relief.. lol

a mom's work is never done

2007-02-27T14:51:00.000-08:00

it's been such a busy week, i've barely had time to check my email. my husband has been away on a business trip so it's just been me and the boy. mom's in charge ;)

it's tough when my hubby is away because he's such a great support, husband and dad! Cruz always misses his dad too. when i pick up my cell phone, he instantly starts saying, "dada dada." it's so cute!

yesterday, we went to Stroller Strides. i got my workout on and then the mommies had coffee talk. Cruz was on his best behavior but after an extra hour sitting in his stroller, he got a little restless, so i took him back to the beach park so he could play at the playground. he played till he could hardly keep his eyes open. it's nice when he tires himself out like that.. gives mom a nice long break during nap time :)

we enjoyed a fun day at Gymboree today. Cruz crawled and walked over everything in his path. he's getting so brave!

the rain stayed away today which was nice. the weather forecasted off and on drizzles all day but what do they know :p

hopefully, the rain will hold off again tomorrow so we can enjoy a nice day outside for Stroller Strides.

my baby finally says "mama"

2007-02-20T22:31:00.000-08:00

this is the happiest day! my baby boy finally says "mama" to me. for a while now he has mumbled it but when i asked him to say "mama" to my face he would say somethng else.. usually "dada." grrr! that always broke my heart. LOL

my mother says i'll be hearing it now for the next 18 years and i'll wish he never learned my name, but for now, it makes me so happy :)

in other news, i'm looking forward to mom's night out tomorrow. the other mamas and i will be out bowling and maybe having a cocktail. good times!

children's book banned

2007-02-19T10:55:00.000-08:00

[quote - NYTimes.com]

With One Word, Children’s Book Sets Off Uproar
By JULIE BOSMAN
Published: February 18, 2007

The word “scrotum” does not often appear in polite conversation. Or children’s literature, for that matter.

Yet there it is on the first page of “The Higher Power of Lucky,” by Susan Patron, this year’s winner of the Newbery Medal, the most prestigious award in children’s literature. The book’s heroine, a scrappy 10-year-old orphan named Lucky Trimble, hears the word through a hole in a wall when another character says he saw a rattlesnake bite his dog, Roy, on the scrotum.

“Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much,” the book continues. “It sounded medical and secret, but also important.”

The inclusion of the word has shocked some school librarians, who have pledged to ban the book from elementary schools, and reopened the debate over what constitutes acceptable content in children’s books. The controversy was first reported by Publishers Weekly, a trade magazine.

[/quote]

first of all, it really upsets me, as a mom, when quality children's literature is banned by schools!

secondly, my son hears much worse on tv commercials that i have no parental control over.. enlarged prostate, erectile disfunction, condoms, and menstruation products to name a few. none of which seem any more controversial than the word "scrotum."

chances are by the end of the book, most kids are not even going to remember "scrotum" on the first page. instead, they will remember the book as a whole being a great story.

lastly, hearing mature words is a life lesson every kid will be able to relate to. it's just part of growing up.

backyard

2007-02-17T20:43:00.000-08:00

today was so beautiful!

i thought i would waste my morning cleaning house, but when walked out to the garage to start a load a laundry, i instantly couldn't bare the thought of wasting this day inside. temps in the high 70s and not a cloud in the sky.. perfect weather for hanging out in the backyard. i put shoes on Cruz and removed the lid to his sandbox. my son had a wonderful time playing and running around. the best part for this mom was.. no fuss when nap time came around ;)

after nap time, we returned to the backyard after a trip to the grocery store. my husband fired up the grill. a little more playtime and then we set up Cruz for an outdoor dinner. by the time he was done eating, our steaks were ready.

what a perfect day :)

i feel like a hot mama on Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T13:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

i have a romantic dinner planned for my husband and me. steaks with cognac sauce and a salad with blue cheese and hazel nuts.. i hear hazel nuts are an aphrodisiac.. ew lala! ;)

this day has finally given me an excuse to wear my red shoes. being a mom doesn't exactly give you much opportunity to play dress up and feel sexy, but just slipping on these red lace beauties make me feel great! i have to honest.. on days when i'm feeling a little down, i put my red shoes on while cleaning the house for a little pick me up. i may look a little funny since my go-to outfit is usually sweat pants, but hey, a girl's gotta do what makes her feel good. anyway, today i'm getting all dolled up to surprise my husband and my red shoes will be making an appearance tonight.

i'm keeping my fingers crossed that Cruz will go to bed on time so my hubby and i get to spend some time alone, if you know what i mean ;)

baby's sleeping habits need some adjusting

2007-02-11T23:11:00.000-08:00

i don't know what's the deal, but Cruz's sleeping schedule has been off. when Cruz doesn't go to bed on time, it makes me cranky! mom work takes up most my day, and i look forward to some free time once my son is sleeping. the past couple nights he has been going to sleep 1-2 hours past his bedtime which is usually 8:00 pm. to make matter worse, my husband was out tonight at an award show and i was home alone with a baby unwilling to go to bed. he was fighting it hard!

i held him on the couch hoping he would fall asleep in my arms.. still awake. i laid him in the crib because i needing something to eat and Cruz cried in his crib. i picked him up after 2-3 minutes and held him on the couch hoping he would fall asleep soon.. still awake. i needed another break, so i put Cruz back down in the crib and got the laundry out of the dryer, but Cruz was still crying so i picked him up and held him on the couch to try again to get him to sleep.. still awake. my patience was wearing thin around 10:00 pm when my husband called to say he was on his way home. i grumbled on about how Cruz was not sleeping yet and how i needed some "me time." then i hung up the phone and waited for him to arrive home. Cruz fell asleep 2 minutes before my husband walked in the door. i was still mad and now too tired to enjoy some down time as much as i would have if Cruz went to bed on time.

in these times my husband feels my wrath. i'm not mad at him but he's the only one around. it's not fair to him but i needed to vent. i felt bad and apologized for bringing out my inner beast. my husband is such a wonderful man and is the best daddy! he's very understanding when i'm ranting. i shall try better in the future to not take my frustrations out on him. i love him so! i'm very lucky to have this great family.

back to my problem with baby's sleeping habits.. starting tomorrow i think i will try to get an earlier start on the bed time routine. i think bath time might have to move up a half-hour earlier so Cruz gets more time to wind down. i'm crossing my fingers we will get it under control soon ;)

a mom is always calm under pressure

2007-02-10T20:31:00.000-08:00

ok, my heart is starting to slow back down.. we just had a scare. here's what just happened:

Cruz is lying in his crib after his bath and i'm attempting to diaper him. he hates putting on a diaper and fights me the whole time. i sing a song to take his mind off the process at hand. after getting the diaper on, i look and he has managed to get his leg caught between two of the slats and it's stuck. i try to move it slightly to get unstuck but it's not budging. at this point, Cruz is starting to panic and so is Mom. i call for my husband, yelling, "baby Baby BABY!" getting louder with each call. my emotional state is not helping at all because my husband come running into the room full charge thinking it's a life or death situation. we get his leg unstuck and then have to calm our crying baby boy. luckily, his leg is going to be ok!

now i know in an emergency, the best thing for a mother to do is act calm, but oh my, that is so hard when your baby is in trouble! note to self.. this is definitely something i'm gonna have to work on for the sake of my child.

this mom's thoughts on motherhood

2007-02-10T19:33:00.000-08:00

there are so many things i love about motherhood! i love my son's smile most of all. his smile brightens my day. it is the first thing i see when i wake up in the morning and what a wonderful way to start the day :)

being a mother has taught me so much about life. i have learned patience which is something i always lacked. i have learned it's ok to be silly and to not care about what others thing when they see you making silly faces and goofy noises. my baby's laugh blocks out the rest of the world.

things that surprised me the most when i became a mom is i can change a poopie diaper and overcome the smell no matter how pungent.. and i didn't care when i got spit up on new clothes.

becoming a mom has empowered me and i have done things i never thought i could do. being a mom is the hardest job i've ever had but it is the most rewarding. payment is in giggles and hugs!

no family pet for now

2007-02-10T16:27:00.000-08:00

last night was a long night. Cruz woke up in the middle of the night wanting to play so my sweet hubby stayed up with him so i could catch up on some much needed sleep. oh how i love that man of mine! :*

we got a late start this morning. i was hoping to be up and going at our normal time, between 6:30 and 7:00 am. instead, we didn't get out of bed till almost 9:00 am. the extra sleep was nice but i wanted to get down to the local animal shelter early for their adoption event today. my husband and i talked it over and we decided getting a family pet for Cruz would be ok.. we also agreed a cat would suit us best at this time. i was very excited to take Cruz to the animal shelter, but the cat we liked earlier this week had already been adopted. darn it! we got there too late :(

i am glad that cute cat got adopted and i hope he spends the rest of his life with a loving family. unfortunately there were not any other cats at the shelter today we were attracted to. so it just wasn't meant to be today, but we will be getting a kitty when the right one comes along.

the lady at the shelter said that they get in more kittens in the spring time so i'll be taking my son there every so often to visit the animals and eventually adopt one to take home.

Cruz is really going to enjoy having a pet. he giggles every time he sees a dog or cat or any animal either in person or on tv. having a pet will teach him how to act around animals and he'll learn some responsibility when he gets old enough to help out with feedings and cleaning up. he's a really good boy who will love a pet.. i can't wait to get him one!

RECIPE: baby's first grilled cheese

2007-02-09T22:50:00.000-08:00

i wanted to cook up a grilled cheese sandwich for my son but i found tradition methods did not work out so well. first off, it has to be cut into bite sized pieces and the bread just never stuck together well enough. so i can up with this little variation:

Baby's First Grilled Cheese

ingredients

1 piece of bread

1 individual package of string cheese

directions

1. toast bread

2. pull apart string cheese in small strips

3. evenly cover top of bread with cheese

4. microwave for a few seconds until cheese is melted
(watch carefully and don't overcook)

5. let cool slightly and cut into bite size pieces
(i usually remove the crust first)

my son's fashion trend

2007-02-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

this just in.. any fashion with trucks on it is in style this season!

this trend was started by Cruz who refuses to wear anything that doesn't have a truck, tractor, big rig, construction equipment, or emergency vehicle on it. i am constantly washing the few outfits that have trucks on them to make him happy. Cruz helps pick out what he wears each day and always goes for the same truck prints. sometimes he's a little mismatched but he's so proud when he can point at his shirt and pants and say, "trucks!"

should we get a family pet?

2007-02-08T15:35:00.001-08:00

today i took Cruz (15 months old) to the animal shelter to look at the doggies and kitties. he really loves animals so my husband and i have discussed getting a family pet. my hubby is a dog person and i am a cat person. i am not opposed to dogs.. i like dogs and had a lot of great dogs growing up, but i just found cats to be a better qualified pet to fit my lifestyle.

what has delayed our decision on getting a pet is neither me nor my husband have family that lives close by to pet-sit when we go out of town, and because we have to travel to visit family, we go out of town quite a few times a year, mostly for long weekends. i do have a friend who checks up on the house for us when we are away that would come by to feed the pet but she is not guaranteed to stop by every day we're gone. a cat would best fit this dilemma because it would not need as much human contact as a dog would when we are out of town.

my husband is dead set on a dog being the best choice. of course i know who will actually end up taking care of whatever pet we get.. that's right.. mom.. me! in the daily life of being a mom, my schedule is non-stop. as it is i barely get out of the door on time to attend various activities i do with my son. having to walk the dog before i go out will makes things even harder, i feel. plus, i don't drive a car, and i can't take a pet with me on the city bus when i take my son to the beach park. again, this makes a cat the better pick because it uses a littler box and will be fine hanging out at home until we return home from outings.

getting a family pet is a big decision! my husband and i must decide:

1. should we get a pet now or wait?
2. what pet is best for our son?
3. what pet best fits our lifestyle?

we have a lot of love in this house to give to a pet and i think my son would really enjoy having an animal around to play with. he giggled at the dogs and cats at the shelter today. i found out the shelter is having an event this saturday with discounted adoption fees and fun stuff for the whole family. i think i'm gonna talk to my hubby about going. plus, i saw the cutest, sweetest cat there that rubbed up on my son. i guess we'll just see what happens...

hi i am Cruz's Mom

2007-02-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

my name is Keri and i am the mother of a beautiful baby boy named Cruz. currently, Cruz is 15 months old. he is the happiest kid i know and my husband and i are very proud of that :)

i work hard all day as a housewife and mother. i love my family and i love my job! it is very rewarding to be part of Cruz's milestones. we have fun all day involved in activities like Gymboree, Stroller Strides, the grocery store, or where ever we can have an adventure.. even if it's just staying at home.

being a stay at home mom is not all fun and games. there is a lot of stuff to take care of around the house and errands to run around town. sometimes it's hard to find the time to do it all and sometimes it doesn't all get done. i do my best but kids are very unpredictable and the unexpected can happen at any time. but hey, that's what makes it fun and never boring, am i right moms? to kick start my day, i look at myself in the mirror and say, "I AM SUPERMOM!" that helps me tackle everything the day will bring :)

i'm starting this blog to talk about motherhood. i want to share my experience and get feedback from other moms. i'm not perfect and no expert; i'm just a good mom trying to do my best. i think it's important to hear about other achievements and mistakes moms make so we all can learn from each other.

thanks for reading!