It's hard to believe that shortly after my last blog post back in January my husband and I made the decision to do IVF, and it's taken until today to officially start my first IVF cycle. After 2 hysteroscopic surgeries, I am polyp free. I did about 21 days of birth control pills and started Lupron injections last week. Today, I start follicle stimulating meds along with a decreased dose of Lurpon, making it a total of 3 shots daily. I would be lying if I didn't say I'm freaking out on the inside at the thought of jabbing myself 3 times in a row in the stomach for the next 2 weeks. Honestly, today has been tough on a number of levels. Partially hormones, partially fear of the process and it working, and anger that I even have to do this in the first place to try to get pregnant.
I thought I would be more excited to finally be getting started, but it's just brought so many emotions to the surface now that the reality of it all has hit me, and with my husband away on business trips for most of the IVF cycle, it's a lot to take in on my own. Not that I want to back out or anything. I have no doubts, no regrets about doing this. I just kind of wish I was already complaining about morning sickness and all the other things I was expecting and was prepared for when we first started trying to conceive 21 months ago instead of complaining how I feel like a pin cushion and an egg factory for the next couple of weeks in hopes of eventually being able to complain about morning sickness. But this is my journey and I've accepted it. People prepare for pregnancy and a new baby; no one prepares for an infertility diagnosis. Infertility is more like getting hit by a truck, and I guess I still haven't 100% recovered.
Anyway, here we go. Fingers, toes, everything crossed for an IVF miracle.
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