To Baby or Not to Baby? That is the Question.

Over the past 6 months, my hubs and I have been discussing having a second baby. Ok, we've been more than discussing it. We've actually been trying, but with hectic work schedules and life getting in the way, we've been unsuccessful thus far.

When we made the decision to have another baby, everything made sense. We both have lots of love to give, good jobs, health insurance, and while finances would be tight, we were willing to sacrifice to have a bigger family. Yet as the months past and with no baby on board, I kept questioning myself. Can I really handle multiple children, especially with a husband who is frequently away on business trips and no family near by to help me out? What about holidays when daycare and school are both closed? My job has been pretty cool about letting me bring Cruz to work on occasion, but I can kiss that perk good-bye once I have the baby. I also kept thinking with Cruz starting kindergarten soon, we were going to be saving a bundle in child care expenses, and maybe, just maybe, we could finally have a real family vacation. If we have a baby, not only will any travel plans be put on hold, but we'll be paying for full time daycare again on top of Cruz's after school child care. Also, I know it might sound a little selfish, but I could really use new clothes and maybe a trip to the spa once our monthly expenses are lighter.

So here we are, after 6 months of being so sure we wanted a bigger family, my hubs and I are having "the baby talk" again. He has always wanted a large family, but he shares the same doubts and fears as me, and age is also a factor for him as he is 8 years older than me (I'm 30 and hubs is 38). We both agreed it's now or never. Besides my husband not wanting to be an "old man" by the time the kids are grown, Cruz is about to turn 5 and the age gap will be less than desirable for siblings to play together. I had no idea how difficult the decision to have another baby could be. We know without a doubt that we would be happy if it was just the three of us, and there's a lot of uncertainty adding another person into the mix. However, we know that if we really wanted another baby, we would love that child and we would find a way to make it work.

The Beginning of a New Journey

Cruz starts kindergarten on Monday! It's just now really sinking in, and I can't believe my baby will be starting elementary school. While it really won't change our routine much (since Cruz has been in daycare and preschool for some time), I still see this milestone as the start of a new journey in Cruz's life. Cruz is excited about starting big boy school, and I couldn't be more proud of him. I know he will do great!