Too Much Lunch

Cruz started a preschool summer program at the beginning of July and after seeing other kids with their shiny lunch boxes, he decided he must have a lunch box and take his lunch to school. Yesterday, I took him to the store and he picked out a brightly colored lunch box with sea creatures on it. I asked him what food he wanted to eat for lunch and we decided on peanut butter sandwich (cut in the shape of dinosaurs, of course), apple slices, and a cookie. Lunch items for the next day was chosen and Cruz had a lunch box, so all I had to do was make sure I packed him everything he needed before taking him to school the next day.

The next morning, I began packing Cruz's lunch box. This was a first for me. I had packed many lunches for myself and my husband, but this was for my son and I wanted it to be perfect and be special. I started with the peanut butter dinos. It was pretty simple. I have a cookie cutter that removes the crust and cuts the sandwich into two dinosaurs. When I looked down at those two lonely dinos, I was afraid my active boy might not be full from just that, so I turned that couple into a herd by making another sandwich.

Next, I moved onto the apple slices. I know Cruz doesn't like the peel, so I peeled the Pink Lady apple and then cut it into slices. Without even thinking, I put all the slices from the large apple into a tupper-wear, snapped on the lid, and put it into Cruz's lunch box with the 4 dinosaurs. Then I got the package of cookies from the pantry. I pride myself on reading labels and, especially when it comes to sweets, I pay attention to the recommended serving size. The package of cookies said 3 cookies were a serving, so I took 3 cookies and put them in a baggie and then inside the lunch box. After adding a juice box for his drink, I looked at the contents inside the lunch box and thought something is missing. He needed something from the dairy group, so I grabbed a squeezable yogurt from the freezer (you know, so it will be thawed and the perfect temperature by lunch time) and added it to my boy's lunch menu.

Cruz's lunch was in the lunch box. 4 peanut butter dinosaur sandwiches, a whole apple sliced up, 3 small cookies, a juice box, and a squeezable yogurt. And just to make Cruz's first Mommy-made school lunch extra special, I wrote a little note that said, "I love you!" I zipped up the lunch box pleased with myself and the grand lunch I packed for my favorite little man.

After work, I arrived at the preschool and asked how Cruz's lunch was and if he ate it all. The preschool teacher told me Cruz was the last one to finish eating lunch and she finally had to tell him he didn't have to eat it all, and she thought it was maybe a little too much lunch. I was slightly embarrassed and explained it was my first time packing him a lunch and maybe I got a little over excited. She agreed that I definitely got a little carried away.

Cruz only ate two dinos, and he even told me that I didn't need to give him all the apple slices. Of course he ate all 3 cookies. You live and you learn, and today I learned that I should pack Cruz's future lunches with just as much love and a little less food.

Please Remain Calm

As a mother, I feel like I'm not allowed to show any emotion and must always remain calm in the face of adversity. I am told that my son feeds off my emotions, and if I get angry, so will he. I am told if I cry, my son will think the worst is happening. And of course, if I'm happy, he will laugh along with me. I am a very emotional person, and it's usually pretty obviously how I'm feeling. So I ask you, dear readers, how does such an emotionally expressive woman keep her feelings at bay? Am I seriously not entitled to get mad or cry for the next several years for the sake of my child?

As a creative person, I embrace my feelings right then and there and let my thoughts flow freely. Yet as a mom, I must think about how I react, the expression on my face, the tone of my voice, and how I handle everything that comes at me because my boy is always watching and learning from what I do. It's as if everything I've been taught to be successful as an artist hinders me from being a calm and collective mother. Not to mention, motherhood has taken most my free time to express my emotions through a creative outlet.

So what do I do now when I'm riding the emotional roller coaster of life? I feel like everyone just wants me to put on a happy face and suck it up. Well, believe me when I say I try.